Ducks and Chucks,
Those who haven't read about Goose Luce's disastrous stay with me and Riley, while she was getting some work done on her goose-house, you can find the first part of the story here. Either way, it just didn't work out. But I was determined to find her a better place to go. Somewhere with lots of space for her to move around without knocking things over.
That's why I decided on Mallard Mansion. (Yes, the words "Duck, you're a beak-brain" spring to mind.)
Truth is, Mallard phoned me from Mallard Mansion the day after Goose Luce had gone to stay in his guest wing.
"How's it going?" I asked.
"My dear fellow, I have mice! You know how they terrify me! I'm going to need your help, I fear."
It turns out, Mallard has been using the guest wing to create artwork, including his first-ever art installation, A Monday, A Mallard, and A Mallardacious Moose. As you can imagine, there were pots of paint and canvases everywhere. "But today," Mallard told me, "I found two curlers in my favorite shade of Midnight Blue Enamel. As if that wasn't enough, some small rodent seems to have nibbled the tip of my favorite brush, and they've also pushed over all the busts of Queen Aphrodite in the spare drawing room, which is right where I've been practicing my sculpting skills. Also, they've abandoned a duck of a lot of suitcases in the second bedroom!"
"Mallard," I quacked, "you know Goose Luce is staying there, right?"
There was a long pause. "Is it Monday?" asked Mallard.
"It's Friday, Mallard. It won't be Monday until ... Monday."
"She's coming on Monday, old chap," said Mallard. "Therefore I deduce I must have mice."
At this point, I took matters into my own wing-hands and explained that I'd dropped Goose Luce off at Mallard Mansion, along with her three suitcases, yesterday morning. "She does have a habit of leaving her curlers everywhere," I said.
"That doesn't explain the marble busts, old fruit!"
"She bumps into things all the time," I said. "But the nibbled brushes are a mystery."
Not for long though, because later that morning when I headed to the pond, I found Goose Luce at her pond-side desk with a long, thin paintbrush stuffed into her left beak-hole:
Given Goose Luce's nasal allergies (it's been a hard summer) she's apparently been using Mallard's extra-slim paintbrushes to poke around in her beak-holes. And her beak-holes are a lot more solid inside than they appear, hence the "nibbled" look.
So yes, I've solved the mystery. And Goose Luce has ordered Mallard a brand new set of extra-slim paintbrushes, which she honestly mistook for beak-hole cleaners.
I love you all. (Don't forget to join my email list for more silly stories like these!) And I hope to duck you didn't read this whole story. If so, I have some headache pills and will drop a glass of water round in two shakes of a goose-tail.