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This Duck Negotiates A Ducking Raise, Thanks to the TransTech Summit

Duck learns how to negotiate his pond manager salary in front of a recording of Chalon and McPherson's session on his laptop. He is wearing a pink bathrobe and looking delighted.
Duck watching Chalon and McPherson's presentation


Due to the ducking brilliance of Anna Chalon and Rebecca McPherson of, this duck just successfully storytold his way to a higher salary. Yes, I'm now getting twenty percent more of the pond's breadcrumb count, starting today. Never again will this non-normative duck fade into the salary pondweed.

Chalon and McPherson's advice at the TransTech Summit 2020 was duck-tacular. Among other strategies, they suggested we storytell the reasons why we're clearly deserving of more salary-breadcrumbs. Firstly, ask yourself how exactly you've recently added value at your pond/other workplace. What have you done to ducking deserve more? Be super-specific.

McPherson and Chalon also advised that we keep an eye on our valuable activities and also make sure to note the specifics as we go about our daily pond managing duties. It's all going to come in useful, next time we need to prove the point.

Here's a rough version of the storytelling spiel that I used to knock the flocks off of Goose Luce, my pond's CEO:

During this pondemic [that's pandemic for humans—Star] I've been clearing the pond of deceased birds every morning with my Duckson Net-a-Pole, before giving those birds (usually maskless) a worthy burial. Then I always disinfect the pond—imagine how many birds would go flippers-up if I didn't.

I'm also keeping morale up while we waterfowl deal with reduced pond hours. I've started an uplifting staff newsletter and a bird-visibility blog that also highlights the importance of bird masking.

In response to my spiel, Goose Luce said, "Goose Luce!" Because those are the only two words that Goose Luce can say. But in this instance, "Goose Luce!" meant, "Bravo and thank you. I agree, you deserve a raise."

And you know what, ducks? I think we all deserve a raise. That's why I'm happy to share the juice.

Also, remember the following is not a mask that will work:

You, ducks. You.

Over and out,



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