As a British-American duck, when this world ducks me off, I turn to my library of Brit expressions to keep my pecker up (which is un-rude Brit-speak for staying cheerful). Here are a couple of my favorite Brit expressions that any duck can use when they're totally ducking done. And when I say "done," I do not mean in the oven.
A pile of codswallop—No Brit I know has any idea what "codswallop" is, but when you're ducked off, it's a sucker-punch of a phrase. My guess is that codswallop is the stuff that codfish poop. And when isn't your bad day a load of that?
"A pile of codswallop" is a ducking awesome phrase when some kind of quack-duckery happens, like someone steals your salmon sandwich or eats all the fishies in your pond. And let's face it, with the amount of fish this duck eats, "codswallop" is fitting.
But you don't have to use it when fish is involved. Try quacking, "What a pile of codswallop!" anytime. It'll put a spring in your flippers.
That takes the Mickey—Okay, this one contains some bathroom speak, so skip it if you're a duck who gets offended. See, the reason why something terrible "takes the Mickey" is because, in Cockney Rhyming Slang, it takes the Mickey Bliss. Which, of course, rhymes with p***. And, in the UK, if something takes the p***, then it's a load of quack-duckery and totally awful, and someone's probably pretty ducking angry about it.
To summarize: If it's bad, it probably takes the Mickey.
Bob's your uncle—When things fall into place, this phrase is ducking great. "Bob," of course, is a popular name among waterfowl—we ducks do like to bob to the bank. But "Bob's your uncle" has nothing to do with relatives named Bob—even if they're ducks.
"Bob's your uncle!" is a bit like "Voila!" in French, or "There you go!" in English. (And before my frenemy Mallard Jones emails me about this, yes, of course the French sounds better, duckhead.)
"Bob's your uncle" is handy when things fall into place. But it's not so good if you want to avoid being seen as a feckless duck-splainer, who likes to tell people who their relatives are and gets it wrong. Best think before you open your beak and let your brand suffer.
There you are, ducks. Now you can go forth, lose it, vent, and recover in the most British of ways.
Over and out,
Thank you to Andi Davis for inspiring this post!
P.S. To buy your own Queen Elizabeth (as featured in the pic), click here. This is an affiliate link, so this duck thanks you for the extra goldfish crackers he'll be able to buy with his Amazon card.