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What The Duck To Do If Your Boss Is A Goose Who Only Says The Words "Goose Luce"

Duck and Goose Luce, both stuffies, are lounging together on a rug. Goose Luce wears a pirate hat and Duck wear's his suit and tie, plus a pair of heart-shaped sunglasses.
Duck and his boss Goose Luce


Communication is ducking important. That's why, when I was first hired as Pond Manager, I was shocked to hear that my CEO Goose Luce only ever says the words "Goose Luce." Yes, you read that correctly. "Goose" and "Luce" are the only words she'll say.

Initially, this seemed like a load of quack-duckery. Which beak-head had decided to hire Goose Luce for the very-talky CEO role, I asked myself? How was I meant to know the difference between "Goose Luce," meaning "please check the breadcrumb quota," and "Goose Luce," meaning "please clean the frog poop from the rock we use as a podium"?

"Surely, it would be better to have Goose Luce as the administrative director," I complained to my partner Peacock Riley. "She's brilliant at paperwork and when she types emails, her vocabulary miraculously grows." Seriously. The first email I received from her said, "Welcome to the Flockingwood Duck Pond. We're delighted to have you aboard."

Flocking articulate, right?

In the end, this duck decided to ask for help, which is how Swan Juan, Head of Client Communications, came to the rescue. Juan explained that Goose Luce's speech is like a mysterious Magic Eye painting, which, when you relax your eyes, reveals a whole new picture. If you relax fully and open your mind, when Goose Luce speaks the words "Goose Luce," the true message lands plop inside your brain like a psychic pebble.

In other words, when I start the day with a flipper massage from Riley, followed by a quack-meditation and just one cup of coffee, duck-dammit, I chill out enough to be able to hear Goose Luce's true meaning.

In other words, our communication is my responsibility too.

Now, Goose Luce and I are the best of pals. The moral? Sometimes, because we're different to one another, it's ducking hard to communicate. But if you stick with it, ask for support, choose patience, and drink less coffee, this duck thinks you'll get there.

If you don't, run for the hills.

Over and out,



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