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Ducks,
You can imagine how ducking done this duck was when he saw Prince Philip on The Crown this weekend being completely duckist:
Listen up, Prince Philip. No duck is a strange-looking duck. Even when Mallard Jones came to work in his shark costume, (just imagine a duck in a Jaws onesie,) does not mean he looked strange—even though yours truly did fall off his log when he saw it.
The thing is, what Mallard looked like was a duck in a Jaws costume, which is exactly how he wanted to look, so let's not get all judgy and use the word "strange," even if we are a ducking royal.
Fortunately, since I'm a half-British duck who's been learning about the British Royal Family, I understand that when Prince Philip said this, he'd probably only ever seen a duck on a plate. I believe eating duck is strange, but that seems ducking valid, given the circs.
[I am avoiding telling Duck that, according to the rumors, the royals hunt ducks all the time. However, I am telling him on a daily basis that the characters in The Crown are not the real royals—Star]
Honestly, when ducks (or people) say that others look strange, weird, or odd, it's a load of quack-duckery. And if others are using such judgy language around you, my friend, and you're feeling all bottom-of-the-pond about it—who wouldn't?—check out Kate Bornstein's Hello Cruel World. It's so ducking comforting that I want to rest my head on Bornstein's shoulder, whisper my secrets, and quack myself to sleep.
Over and out,
Duck
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