Good evening, Ducks,
So, the above is typical of swan art. But duck me, if this floaty, flowery stereotype isn't damaging. Not that there aren't some great swans in this world—my buddy Swan Juan is beak-full of qualities and super-pretty. But swans are not always polite, romantic, drift-along types. Nope. They can also be ducking rude.
Last week, during this darn pondemic, a swan drifted up to me, asked me for directions, didn't thank me, then managed to somehow steal my sunglasses—even though I was wearing them at the time. And they did all this without a mask.
Plus, did they keep to the waterfowl guidelines by staying six swan-lengths away? No they ducking didn't. I had to paddle backwards swiftly, and backwards-paddling is not what I do best.
And you know why that ducking swan managed to steal my ducking Ray-Bans? Because I was so duck-darn captivated by their romantic-type drifting, that I fell for the ruse, duck, line, and sinker.
Next time someone asks me how to get to Carnegie Hall, I'm just going to reply, "Practice."
Don't judge birds by their stereotypes, pal. You'll get distracted and lose your ducking shades.
Over and out.