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Rudyard Kipling's IF—Duck Version

Duck is bursting out of his work suit to reveal a superhero costume underneath.
Duck illustrated by Star

Ducks and Chucks,

It's your ever-honest duck, quacking a stately hello! And today, I bring you duck lyrics. (By the way, if you missed our Instagram video of 'This Be The Ducking Verse,' then here it is. (Warning: It's a bonkers rewrite of Philip Larkin's brilliant 'This Be The Verse'—Star))

Anyway, ducks and chucks, here's another popular duck-adapted poem for you. This one's called IF, DUCK and it's by Rudyard Duckling (Actually, as I've tried to persuade Duck, IF is by Rudyard Kipling. You can read the original poem here—Star.) It totally rocks this duck's flippers. Enjoy!


If you can still your beak when all about you

Are blaming lots of beak-brained stuff on you, If you can trust your flippers when birds doubt you

And then (the duck-heads!) eat your pondweed stew;

If you can drift and not be tired by drifting,

Then paddle hard towards a pack of fries,

Or goldfish crackers, if you're into such things,

But share your food, because you're ducking wise;

If you can quack—and not make quacks your master; If you can flap—and not make flaps your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Ducksaster

Including when you're paddling through the rain;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve quacked of

Twisted by duck-heads or strange, wily dippers,

Who claim they didn't mean to knock the back of

Your butt while you were resting your tired flippers;

If you can go tails-up like any other And risk your feathers trying to catch a meal,

And then get snapped at by a massive plover,

Or even worse, a wayward, drifting seal;

If you can urge your feathers, beak and flippers

To carry on with zest and duckly pluck,

Even though some beak-hole stole your kippers

Right from the fridge—oh come on, what the duck?

If you can be a duck, and keep on ducking,

Or float with swans and know that you're still cool,

Or quack among the geese who just keep honking

So no one hears your quacks, except for you;

If you can paddle through the rain and thunder

But just keep ducking, though the weather sucks,

Yours is the Pond and everything that’s in it,

And—which is more—you’ll be a duck, my duck!

Duck encourages you to join his email list and get his monthly secret stories from the pond, as well as his free e-book called "The Ballad of Sir Mallard and The Salad."

Well, I hope you enjoyed that ducking awesome poetry duck-riot! And more news from the pond soon, I promise.

Hope you're doing well on your own pond, my friends. And remember, duck on, and give bigotry the flipper!

Loves ya,

Duck (and Star)


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