How The Pondemic Has Ducks Delivering Subs, Getting Literary, and more.



Ducks and Chucks,


I, your humble pond manager, am a duck inspired! Why? Because I've been researching how the pondemic has changed duck life forever. And I have to say, what I've found has totally tickled my flippers. So here I am to share three ways in which the pondemic has put the "uck" in "duck"! [I'm pretty sure that's a good thing, but I still harbor doubts—Star]


Duck reading habits:


The temptation to put our flippers up and relax, rather than venturing out to a riskier pond, has led many ducks, including yours truly, to crack a ducking book. Among the most popular works downloaded from our Digital Pond Lending Library are A Tale of Two Quackies by Charles Duckins, Much Ado About Ducking by William Beakspeare, The Flippers Are Not An Apology by Sonya Renee Ducktail, Eat, Paddle, Love by E. Featherbeth Gilbert, and Duck Actually by Sir Mallard Jones (who never stops quacking about his beak-tingling popularity.)


Yours truly has his bill firmly planted inside The Pond Less Travelled by M. Scott Pecking. Color me overwhelmed.



2. Duck Bread Deliveries


As you may know, humans have had their own pondemic to deal with [actually, we had a pandemic—Star]. And flock me, it's been quite the shocker. This phenomenon has paved the way for several new entrepreneurial ventures from the waterfowl communities. For instance, the ducks at Duck Subs Inc. take bread crumbs that have been thrown to ducks by humans, and transform them to make fresh loaves. Since bread is actually very bad for ducks, this kills two goldfish with one stone. Business and quacktivism—the perfect match!


For a tidy sum, these loaves are then made into subs and delivered by air to humans who've ordered them from a duck website. And no, I am not sharing the link with you, chucks. This duck will not be responsible for the plethora of health issues that eating a pondweed sub might trigger.


Still, bravo! The entrepreneurial spirit is alive and well at the pond.


And we are too, as long as we don't peck down those crumbs.


3. The Goose of Time Starts Marketing to Humans


It makes sense that the royal Goose of Time would be keen to make the most of 2021. After all, a lot of this pondemic is all about time. But I'd never have guessed that their goosliness would go so far as to run online courses about waterfowl time-management and stress-free living. (I went to one called QuackBooks For the Self-Employed Waterfowl, which I give a hearty flippers-up.)


The Goose of Time has also been encouraging humans to come and visit the pond after their vaccinations, in order to calm the duck down. Note their goosliness' excellent messaging below:



Well, that's all from the pond, ducks and chucks. Take care of yourselves, look after your needs, and if you happen to see a random duck juggling pebbles in your backyard, please don't approach them. This pebble-juggling fad is extremely dangerous and yours truly is on the case.


Loves ya,

Duck


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