Five Imaginative Ways In Which Ducks Are Giving Misogyny The Flipper


Duck, who is illustrated here by Star, is in the shower, wearing his hat. The water is on and the shower itself is marked as being an "anti-misogyny shower."
Illustration by Star

Ducks and chucks,


Well, my feathered friends, this duck is proud! I am happy to say that across the ducking world, ducks are giving misogyny the flipper. And because we're creative birds, the ways in which we're flippering are super-ducking awesome! Check out these clever fowl:


The Flipper Preserved By Time



I would not be surprised if the above was created by a group of ducking awesome ducks who were giving misogyny the flipper. The only thing being erased here is some smooth concrete, and who's going to miss that? [No comment—Star.]


Also, if you look very, very, very carefully, you'll be able to make out the words "Don't be transphobic, beak-brain" and "Equal opportunities, duckhead" printed in the cement itself. [Written in Duck, not English—Star.] Go, ducks! A stroke of genius!


Levitating Duckness



Across the country, pond by pond, ducks have been holding sponsored anti-misogyny levitation contests, with all sorts of activist language printed on the contestents' flippers. I've no idea if the above photo from our friends at @trudis_duckworld is part of this trend, but the pic gives you an idea of how flipper-flapping genius ducks are at levitating. Yours truly bets the duck in the picture levitated for at least 0.333 of a second. If that isn't genius, I don't know what is.


The Anti-Quackduckery Stare


This is the kind of hard-edged stare we ducks have been perfecting in order to repel misogyny and other types of quackduckery. Homophobes: Prepare to receive full eye-flipper. Transphobes: Get ready to feel devastatingly disapproved of. Misogynists of all kinds: You have been served flipper, so off you go.


The Duck Anthem



The Duck Anthem, as all ducks know, sums up what being a duck is all about. In fact, you can see yours truly, along with Star, performing said anthem in the video below.


So it will come as no shock to duckscover that, all across the world, ducks are singing said anthem to themselves as they remember that being a duck—or whoever you happen to be at the time—is all about wholesome things that ARE NOT misogyny.


I'm pretty sure the duck above is singing The Duck Anthem into their makeshift microphone with merry abandon. Good show! Much flipper has been given. Misogyny: duck off.


Star and Duck Reciting The Duck Anthem:



Suitcase Quacktivism



Finally, I've been having a go at being a superduck lately, and it's going ducking well. As you can see, I managed to suppress misogyny for a short amount of time in rather a swanky carry-on case. Needless to say, during this blissful three-minute interval, misogyny was not only securely detained, but was also duckstracted by this handsome baggage with its silky lining. Who wouldn't be?


Fear not! I'm working up to four minutes, as we speak. Misogyny: you have received full-frontal flipper. (And Riley, darling, sorry again for kidnapping your incredibly fashionable new suitcase and putting misogyny in there. I did try to get rid of the smell with some lavender spray, but even essential oils can't fight misogyny's fishy odor. As promised, I'll be buying you a new case today.)


Well, ducks and chucks, that's it from me. Don't forget to sign up for my monthly email list for more ducking-awesome quactivism [and Duck's outrageous free poetry book], and if you're on Instagram, so are we! Let's go quackers and connect!


Carry on the good fight, my friends. That anti-quackduckery jersey really suits you.


Loves ya,

Duck