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Ductionary Definition: Beak-To-Flippers

Ducks and Chucks,

Yes, dear friends, it's me, Duck T, and I am abso-ducking-lutely delighted to be defining the duck-phrase "beak-to-flippers" with my excellent best frenemy Sir Mallard Jones.

Duck: Mallard, what do you feel about the phrase beak-to-flippers?

Mallard: It is, in spite the fact that it has been banned at Mallard Mansion, an absolutely glorious phrase!

Duck: Banned? It's been ducking banned?

Mallard: I admit it sounds devastatingly harsh, especially for a phrase that means "fully on board" or "one hundred percent" or "without a feather of a doubt." But according to my gardener, Penelope Thunderduck, the phrase "beak-to-flippers" bypasses the brain.

Duck: But surely that depends on the route you take! You can go from your beak, then over your forehead, then over the top of your head, then down the back, and then you definitely do not bypass the.... Why the duck am I even arguing this? Just because something bypasses the brain doesn't make it offensive, does it?

Mallard: Now, look, old thing. It is not up to I, your humble and extremely wealthy mallard, to dictate what is acceptable and what is not. If this sort of thing were up to me, everyone at Mallard Mansion would be eating saltwater taffy for breakfast, and we all know what that would do to our beakholes.

Duck: Even Colgate and pipecleaner can't sort that.

Mallard: I agree monumentally, beak-to-flippers!

Duck: But I understand. If a word is offensive to someone, then it's probably offensive for very good reasons. Just because we don't know the whole ducking story doesn't mean we should accost Mallard's gardener on her way home from work to ask why she's banning a perfectly good duck-phrase.

Mallard: Duck, my dear fellow, I'd no idea there were such dark shadows in thy mind. Rid thyself of them! Cleanse and becrown!

Duck: And there we have it. I need a beak-to-flippers energy cleanse, and Mallard needs some Colgate and a pipecleaner. If you're still unclear, dear friends, on what beak-to-flippers means, I do not blame you in the slightest.

Big hugs to all! May you be well, may you be flappy, may you paddle on victoriously! And if you enjoyed this post, please consider joining my email list, which will also give you a couple of marvelous duck e-books.

Loves ya,

Duck T


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