Ducks and Chucks,
I was in need of guidance the other day, and being a bit of a New Age duck, I decided to get a flipper-reading from the Duck of Destiny. But you know what I realized as I was having my flipper-reading? You can't leave everything in the flippers of a stranger, even if they're totes clairvoyant. Here's why:
How do I know she's right?—When the Duck of Destiny told me I'd soon be taking a hot-air balloon trip to a pond in Maine, I freaked the duck out. I am NOT a hot-air duck. My peacock partner Riley's been trying to get me to go ballooning since the beginning of time. I hate this. In fact, it's made me so nervous that when Riley tells me, "Ooh, you're a big gassy tonight," I totally ducking believe they're arguing that we should get in a balloon tomorrow.
Honestly, eight times out of ten they're NOT making this argument. It's just how I freak out.
Now, if the Duck of Destiny said I'd soon have the option of a hot-air balloon trip, that would be a different matter. So, if anyone says to me, "You're going to be doing this, Duck T," from now on, I will reply, "I'm going to have the option of doing this, Duck of Destiny. Because how do you know how I'm going to respond?"
That new, fancy flipper soap—Yes, this duck invested in some new, fancy flipper soap, courtesy of the pondemic. I bought several tons of the stuff, because that's what a pondemic will do to me, so I'm still ducking using it, even though it dries out my flippers. So how, when The Duck of Destiny is reading my flipper and saying that "this line here" means I'll soon be appearing on The Cube, (which is a super-ducking awesome game show, by the way,) how does she know she isn't actually reading a dried-out flipper-wrinkle?
I say this to calm myself. I like to watch folks facing The Cube—not be them.
My fliptuition rocks—When reading my flipper, the Duck of Destiny said quite a few things that were spot-on. Yes, I have been considering going for a promotion. Yes, I will soon be receiving a new office chair. And yes, my peacock partner will likely be winning a fancy reward—with a cash prize, thank you very much.
But when she said my Aunt Pondelia would soon be giving me some valuable advice that I should totally take, I knew she was wrong. I just knew it. Aunt Pondelia has never given me good advice. (Once, she even told me to go to my room and practice eating my own beak.) And because the thought of Aunt Pondelia even TRYING to give me advice makes me want to hang upside down from the pond-slop, means I need to listen to my OWN fliptuition and assume the Duck of Destiny made a simple mistake.
It's all too easy to give our power away when we're dealing with a talented psychic. But brilliant as they often are, psychics are just ducks or humans like you or me.
Example: Other Duck, Star's partner, was once told by a psychic that Star and Other Duck weren't a serious relationship and wouldn't last very long. At present, however, they've been happily married for over seven years. And if that isn't serious, then I don't smell of pond-water.
Listen to your own fliptuition first, ducks and chucks. After all, you're SUPER-DUCKING AWESOME!