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Duck Proverbs For A Happier Life

Ducks and chucks,

It's time to knock the fuzz out of our flippers and seize life by the beak! Why? Because we ducking deserve it.

Anyway, I hope these duck proverbs in all their wisdom help you to lead a happier life. They've certainly helped me to say no, cut down on my paperwork, start a rota for cleaning the pondweed coffee maker, and take time off for proper flipper care.

Proverb: Don't clean your flippers to the point where they no longer slap.

Okay, now this proverb used to be a problem for me. I think you probably see why. I mean, it doesn't matter how much I clean my flippers, they always make a pleasurable slapping sound. During bouts of insomnia that are not aided by expensive sleep remedies from posh shops like Duck Harrods, my best frenemy Sir Mallard Jones actually invites me over to Mallard Mansion just so I can flipper-slap up and down his grand staircase because it lulls him to sleep. And I often do this right after I've cleaned my flippers. They slap no less for it.

But the proverb is a good one! It's perfectly reasonable to decide that you've been cleaning your kitchen duck-floor for over two hours now, and much as you'd like to get rid of that curious toad-like smell, you'd far prefer to spend the NEXT hour watching soap operas like The Duckles. (OH MY GOODNESS, I CAN'T BELIEVE MIFFY RAN OFF WITH DRAKE McGOOSE!!!)

Proverb: No house benefits from a pondweed wall.

This one is often used to remind ourselves of the importance of strong boundaries. Pondweed walls are very exciting—but are they too exciting? According to my pal Swan Juan whose kitchen wall was formed of pondweed when he bought his house, the answer is YES. Why? Because as soon as he moved in, he took one nibble of that delicious wall and didn't stop nibbling until his home was entirely open plan.

He also felt a bit sick. A lack of boundaries can do that to you, of course.

Proverb: If you're going to block your beak-holes, do it one at a time.

Everyone needs to breathe, so look after yourselves, ducks and chucks. No murky pond-scrap, okay? Leave that for the tadpoles.

Proverb: One pond doth not a mallard make.

Everyone needs to team together to look after a pond. And that's also a great metaphor for life. Creating a beautiful pond demands that all of us work together. So, if there's someone in my life, ducks and chucks, who's acting as if nobody else counts, I try, if I can, to give them fewer pondweed-and-white-chocolate cookies rather than more.

When I make pondweed cookies, I make enough for everyone ... plus a few extras, because it's important to be generous to yourself, especially when pondweed is involved. Which brings me to...

Proverb: Butter your own beak first.

Apparently, waterfowl used to think that putting butter on your beak stops sunburn. But these days, I think it's generally accepted that you actually need something with an SPF in it. Anyway, the proverb still stands: Look after yourself first! You can't look after anyone else if you're getting all sore and sacrificing your health. I believe that I am responsible for me and you are responsible for you. Together, we can also be responsible for this world.

Take care of yourselves, ducks and chucks. You matter! You're deserving of all good things! And your loving gestures really do help.

Loves ya,

Duck T.


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